Yikes. Vintage Ads That Should Never Have Seen The Light Of Day

For decades, advertising companies have known their target audiences and how to attract them.

That being said, there are many classic advertisements featuring content and images that would never be accepted today.

Here, Drink This

To spike someone’s drink, even a friend, is to illegally put something in it that alters their mood and behavior.

Bloomingdales:Twitter
Twitter/Lara Diamond Phillips
Twitter/Lara Diamond Phillips

Illegally spiking a drink could encourage even more criminal activity.

You’ve Had Enough Sir

In this ad, a woman is serving wine to two men.

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Pierce Archive LLC/Buyenlarge via Getty Images)
Pierce Archive LLC/Buyenlarge via Getty Images)

Today, both the man trying to grab her and the man sleeping would be removed for being publicly intoxicated.

Puff, Puff Away

Smoking cigarettes has been proven to cause health problems. Cigarette packaging today contains warnings and ads only highlighting smoking’s harmful effects.

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Chris Morphet/Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Chris Morphet/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

Ads today would encourage quitting, not smoking more.

Beach Day

This ad image would not survive the presses today because it is illegal to drink alcohol on the beach.

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Tom Kelley/Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Tom Kelley/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

The ad also implies the beers will somehow lighten the mood.

Special Delivery

Advertisements promoting smoking would never receive permission to be shown today.

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Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images
Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images

The caption and ad image promise pleasure from smoking cigarettes, especially if they are being delivered by a pretty woman.

Drink Pepsi. All Of The Attractive Women Do

Vintage soft drink advertisements with attractive women, in suggestive positions was commonplace.

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Robert Landau/Corbis via Getty Images
Robert Landau/Corbis via Getty Images

This ad and caption imply that refreshing involves drinking Pepsi and having the company of an attractive woman.

Pretty Please With A Coke On Top

Submissiveness and sexuality are subtly suggested in this ad’s headline and imagery.

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Picture Post/Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Picture Post/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

The advertisement shows a young woman appearing to beg for permission from her man for a soft drink.

‘H’ Is For Hemorrhoids

Advertising for medication that relieves Hemorrhoids itself is harmless and still exists today.

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Found Image Holdings/Getty Images
Found Image Holdings/Getty Images

The imagery and wording of the advertisement would be more subtle and likely hidden from plain view.

Barbie Doesn’t Live Here

Frolic? This advertisement makes absolutely no attempt to disguise that this is a place to drink, dine, dance, and frolic.

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Jim Heimann Collection/Getty Images
Jim Heimann Collection/Getty Images

The advertisement would invite daily raids by the police today.

Probably Wouldn’t Cut The Cheese

Actress Joan Caulfield is apparently advertising a line of cheesecakes bearing her name in this advertisement.

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Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images
Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images

The thing is, there is zero cheesecake, and its irrelevant suggestiveness would cancel this advertisement today before production started.

No Need ‘Fur’ This Type Of Advertising Today

Why this advertisement would not get seen today is an endless list of reasons.

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Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images
Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images

First, the cats (women) are enticingly teasing the dog (a man), and fur coats are taboo.

I’ll Just Help Myself

While this appears to be for a non-alcoholic beverage, this cider advertisement’s imagery very closely resembles beer.

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Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images
Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images

Companies and society would take issue with someone serving themselves from a keg.

Sorry Girls

There is no doubt Sumner, Washington, is an excellent place to raise children, but this advertisement purposely excluded girls.

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Bettmann Archive via Getty Images
Bettmann Archive via Getty Images

This ad reeks of misogyny, implying girls cannot be raised there.

Nothing Like Hot Chocolate After Badminton

There is low-key suggestiveness in this ad’s image. Women playing sports while wearing dresses is hard no today.

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Kean Collection/Archive Photos/Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Kean Collection/Archive Photos/Hulton Archive/Getty Images

Ads today showcase the athletic prowess of women, which this does not.

Tide Laundry Detergent And Bodywash

Women worldwide single-handedly manage work while raising children every day.

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Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images
Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images

Objections would probably be to her outfit, the children’s safety, and the validity of this soap for washing clothes and people.

Judge, Jury, And…

Our televisions and social media apps are littered with ads endorsing multidimensional tools these days.

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Jay Paull/Getty Images
Jay Paull/Getty Images

This ad over-simplifies how to purchase a dangerous product that could be weaponized. And it is for children!

These Suits Are Breathtaking

On its own, this advertisement is not particularly misogynistic or objectionable.

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Ken Florey Suffrage Collection/Gado/Getty Images
Ken Florey Suffrage Collection/Gado/Getty Images

Today’s medical standards, however, probably would not support advertising these special suits due to the potential for bodily harm.

Dear Santa, I Really Want A Carpet Sweeper For Christmas

Bissell still produces carpet sweepers today, but without the use of an obviously misogynistic advertisement like this one.

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Jay Paull/Getty Images
Jay Paull/Getty Images

Society today would not accept advertising cleaning products as presents for women.

Plastic Made A Home, A Clean Home

Almost every American household during the period of this advertisement had plastic covering for everything inside the house.

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Found Image Holdings/Getty Images
Found Image Holdings/Getty Images

This image is misogynistic and implies a house’s cleanliness is the responsibility of women.

This Better Not Clash With My Outfit

Anyone viewing this ad would be distracted from realizing that it’s endorsing electronics.

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Found Image Holdings/Getty Images
Found Image Holdings/Getty Images

No demonstration of how the product works. Not to mention, the women’s low-cut sweater has nothing to do with the product.

This Party Needs A Little Mood Music

This ad’s image and caption infer that the”fun” being referred to is not appropriate around children.

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Found Image Holdings/Getty Images
Found Image Holdings/Getty Images

Barely recognizable is the self-playing piano that is hidden behind the ad’s naughty overtures.

Time For Some Accounting And A Smoke

A few images in this advertisement would instantly prevent it from being seen today.

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Found Image Holdings/Getty Images
Found Image Holdings/Getty Images

Flowers and the photo suggest a female smoker calculating something while she waits for her husband.

1, 2, 3, Pull

Pictured here are half-naked children using a spool of cotton strong enough to capture an elephant.

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Culture Club/Getty Images
Culture Club/Getty Images

Child labor laws and the children’s semi-nudity would not go over well today at all.

Just Wait For Me To Get My Second Wind

On the surface, ads for relief of almost any stomach ailment are nothing new or offensive.

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Universal History Archive/Universal Images Group via Getty Images
Universal History Archive/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

What eliminates this ad from acceptability today is that the man’s issue is alcohol-induced.

Perfect Place For A Bachelor Party

What is lost in this advertisement is that it endorses a health spa, which is perfectly legitimate.

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Jay Paull/Getty Images
Jay Paull/Getty Images

Images of the devilish figure and the woman curiously gazing imply inappropriate behavior.

Loser Does 10 Push-ups

Misogyny is the main issue with the images in this advertisement.

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Universal History Archive/Universal Images Group via Getty Images
Universal History Archive/Universal Images Group via Getty Images

A group of women who are playing pool in dresses while the portrait is of men supposedly doing real work.

Probably Can’t Bring The Wife And Kids Here

Nudist resorts usually offer these services that are otherwise inappropriate.

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Jay Paull/Getty Images
Jay Paull/Getty Images

What the ad more than directly points out is that these places are private and come with exclusive arrangement possibilities.

Animal Rights Groups, Line Up Here

Nobody is doubting the claim made by the caption that the fur sold at this store is beautiful.

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Universal History Archive/Getty Images
Universal History Archive/Getty Images

Animal rights groups and animal lovers, however, would take issue with the fur-collection process.

Look To The Left And Hold Still Please

What exactly would the men reading this advertisement be in demand of?

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Getty Images/Archive
Getty Images/Archive

Capitalization within the caption and the woman pictured implies that men who can draw will automatically attract more women.

Put On Your Helmet Sweetie, Mommy’s Taking You For A Stroll

False and dangerous advertising would begin the list of objections to this advertisement.

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Jay Paull/Getty Images
Jay Paull/Getty Images

The ad’s “common sense” that it refers to is contradicted and outweighed by the stroller’s safety concerns.