Lots of people like to bag on millennials for lots of reasons—like killing the diamond industry or buying too many avocados and ruining the economy. I think those accusations are a little out of hand.
Really, the ways we fail ourselves are a lot more simple than that, like by sending a text to the wrong person, or accidentally ordering way too man tiny hats.
Sorry, I Have Anxiety
It’s no one’s fault that we find ourselves wound up at all times. It’s basically just the crushing weight of everyone’s opinions and the general state of the world. Nothing to worry about.
It’s Not Like We Have A Lot Of Money To Start With
This is what we’re always told to do if we have some suspicious activity going on on our cards. Maybe she was still just so in shock that she was actually able to get away for a bit.
Time To Delete All Dating Apps
Honestly, these are the kinds of things that you should just keep to yourself until you know someone well enough for them not to cry about it for the rest of their life.
Your Socks Are My Socks
We’re not stealing sweaters anymore, ladies, we are taking socks, and we will be taking them while they wear them. Yes, they’ll be sweaty and stinky, but this is the price we have to pay.
Take A Nice Self-Care Day
Let’s just leave out the fact that all that food is going to get soggy with bathwater, and just say he’s going to inevitably end up with a gross hotdog bath bomb.
This Is As Bad As Not Seasoning Chicken
Cooking is a skill that we can learn, yes, but some of us lived a life of luxury where our oatmeal cookies were always made for us and we never learned to bake.
Well, This Is Not Going To Go Over Well
What are they going to do when girls start demanding selfies and hangouts? And they will, because, you know, Tinder is a dating site and not a “chat and nothing happens” site.
There Are Worse Things To Spend $5 On
He was lucky this time that he did something nice. There are worse things that someone can do when they’re drunk than try to make the world a better place.
Wow RIP All My Friends
Millennials love to google things, and we also love to think about the worst-case scenarios. This is what happens when you have anxiety about everything and low self-esteem to boot.
Too Much Alone Time Does Crazy Things
When you spend too much time on your own, it’s easy to get in your feelings and think that you want to get back with someone who you have no business talking to.
Who Doesn’t Need A Bunch Of Tiny Hats?
Not really sure what the purpose of ordering all those tiny hats is unless they’re going to have cat rodeo, in which case, not only is this excusable, it’s encouraged.
That Is Quite The Haircut
See, because millennials never want to hurt anyone’s feelings, sometimes we have a bit of a hard time saying things straight, like “that haircut is absolutely god awful, and no one should have it.”
Feel The Burn, Girls On Tinder
See, he thinks he’s making a clever point, and even though he may be right, the joke is on him because we know what we’re doing and we do it on purpose.
I’m Sure She Didn’t
There is a certain thrill that comes from thinking that a celebrity or influencer has liked one of your posts or followed you back, but it should be known that it probably isn’t gonna be them. You’re not interesting enough.
Of All The Times To Be Pulled Over
You know what? This might have worked in her favor because they would have taken so much pity on her and the fact that this was probably super embarrassing for her already.
Maybe They’ll Get Married
This is why you can’t trust technology with anything. Technology just wants you to think that it has your back, but it doesn’t, and it will throw you under the bus in a second.
That’s A Lot Of Cash
This is what happens when you take cash out of the bank machine and keep it in your pockets and then wash two months’ worth of laundry at one time.
The Audacity Of This Man
Maybe you don’t care about books, that’s fine, you don’t need to respect them! But apparently, that’s too much to ask from this guy who thinks this is acceptable. Just download them like the rest of us.
He Knew What He Was Doing
I can only imagine that she rolls her eyes every time she tags him in something and pleads with him to change it to a name that isn’t as lame…and then probably tells him that it’s lame because he is too.
One Of Our Greatest Fears
See? Here is technology letting us down again. This is also a great cautionary tale for those of us who think that checking attachments twice is as a waste of time.