Let the waves of nostalgia wash over you as you lord this sacred 80’s and 90’s knowledge over the heads of ignorant Gen Z’s. They will never know and they will never understand how good and slightly different it was. We used Limewire instead of YouTube converter back then.
Check out all these photos that kids born after 2000 will never understand. Even if they watch the cartoons on Netflix they won’t know what it’s like to wake up at 6 am on a Saturday to see the new episode of Doug.
These Microsoft Word Title Fonts Were The Biggest Decision Of Your Day
When the regular Arial, Calibri, and Helvetica just weren’t giving you the vibe you needed for your book report cover, you definitely dove into the catalog of fonts that the Microsoft Word 1.0 offered you. There really was never a right one though.
Sometimes Sample 3 did the job, but you often had to shorten it to make it fit and then it went wonky. There was one kid in your class who used Sample 11 religiously and you always wondered about him. He had tuna salad sandwiches for lunch too.
‘Old Guy’ With The Serious Moves On The Six Flags Commercials
America’s collective consciousness has probably seen these commercials at least 6 billion times. You definitely know the song off the top of your head and every time you see a bald man in thick-rimmed glasses you get kinda happy. It’s that ingrained.
Turns out this dancing old guy Mr. Six is Danny Teeson – he filmed the spot when he was in his 20’s and is a renowned choreographer and dancer. 2000’s babies will never understand why we all get weirdly sing-songy when we go to Six Flags.
The Game Boy Pocket Was The Precursor To The Pocket Phone
Nowadays, carrying around a cellphone is second nature. What 2000’s babies won’t know is that the Game Boy Pocket allowed us to walk before we could run and got us all used to carrying around a hunk of metal before it was cool.
The Game Boy Pocket was seriously better than the original Game Boy and anyone who disagrees is wrong. It took 2 batteries instead of 4, and came with an LED screen to show battery level so you didn’t have to compulsively save all the time.
Beef. It’s What’s For Dinner.
If you didn’t read that heading in Robert Mitchum’s gravelly voice than you must be a 2000’s baby. Seriously, these commercials were on all the time and we would bug our moms to make the recipes. This was probably also the first time you saw a glamor shot of a kabob – how sensuous.
The commercials were funded by the National Livestock And Meat Board to drive up beef sales. It probably worked since in 1992 veganism and vegetarianism weren’t as popular as they are now.
This Party Mix Snack Made You The Most Popular Kid For A Day
Twitter user @Sasha_Rose_ knows exactly what it took to rise to the top of the social hierarchy back in the ’90s. She tweets, ‘pfft, kids today won’t know the pleasure of bringing this bad boy in and being popular for the day.’
If those even lasted a day. Most kids who brought this in were tackled within minutes of stepping through the door and raided before 11 am. The worst was when other classes found out and they would come knocking. It really is hard being popular.
We All Stayed Up To Watch Duckman Secretly
This show was the self-aware, witty, gritty, and gruesome precursor to Rick And Morty. For all you 2000’s babies quoting Rick-isms like Bible verses, Duckman’s cynicism gives Rick and Morty’s frustrated banter a run for its money. Or schmeckle, in this case. All the while being an animated show about a detective duck.
Duckman only aired on Saturday nights, so we would all sneak downstairs to catch a glimpse of basically the animated dysfunction of the Malcolm in the Middle family on T.V. But ducks. Did I mention it’s about ducks?
Back When You Only Made Sure You Had Your Polly Pocket Before Leaving The House
2000’s kids can just easily leave the house with their phones and know in their hearts they’ll never be bored because they can download any mobile game they want. They’ll never know what it’s like going with your mom to an event and her telling you you could only bring one game. Seriously?
If you wanted variety and pocket-sized fun you took your Polly Pocket. She could hop around and be on a boat, shell, shopping mall – anywhere. It was like a multiverse right in your hand before Marvel was the cool thing to like.
These Saturday Morning Cartoons Are Forever Ingrained In Your Head
Twitter user @5emifactor hits us with a nostalgia beam when he tweets, ‘today’s kids won’t know the joy of waking up 6am on Saturdays just to watch Spiderman and Biker Mice from Mars.’ They’ve heard of the friendly neighborhood guy, but the mice? No chance.
Those mice were seriously the best and also may have been the reason you begged your mom to get you a pet mouse. You might have also made green glasses for it to wear to match Throttle’s. Too bad Squeaker always shook them off.
Gooey Louie Is The Reason We Have Hygiene Issues
Today kids have Blume dolls – dolls whose colorful hair grows and that’s nice. We’re happy for them. What we had is a nasty guy with a ton of gooey boogers you pulled out one by one until his head popped off. So, times have kind of changed.
Gooey Louie might be the reason you had a weird fear that your brain was going to explode if you picked your nose too hard. Or if you looked forward to picking your nose. Louie caused a lot of issues and we’re happy there was no eating aspect of the game.
Neo Pets Were The First Thing You Checked When You Got Home From School
Before Webkinz and before any real-life responsibility, we had these friendly little neon creatures to feed and look after. Were they Pokémon rip-offs? Definitely. Did we care? No – this was the 90’s, the time of pirated music, DVDs, and magical creatures.
These things taught us responsibility, bartering, economics, guild culture, and how to memorize our parents’ credit card numbers to buy Neocash. Seriously, nobody actually got permission from their parents to drop the coin for a customized Neohome.
The Universal Remote That Never Actually Worked
2000’s kids with their Chromecast and Apple TV will never know the struggle of having 5 different remotes for your TV, Cable, Satellite, DVD, and VHS. Your life was so different when they introduced the universal remote for everything – that is, when it decided to work.
The only time these things actually worked like they said they would was during the 2 weeks after you got your TV. Then the mute button stopped working or the DVD player would stop responding.
Kid Pix Made Your Computer Time So Much Better
We all remember putting in work on the Mavis Beacon typing program at school during computer class to earn that precious 15 minutes of free time. You know exactly where we were heading with that free time too – straight to the colorful land of Kid Pix.
The sounds this program made were almost more fun than the art we got to create. Who else didn’t feel completely unless when they listened to their paintbrush drag across the screen at full volume? If you couldn’t hear the paint-can drop how did you even know you spread the paint?
This Book Probably Scared You Into Eating Vegetables
David Shannon’s A Bad Case Of Stripes was the single most terrifying book you read when you were a kid. If it wasn’t the stripes that scared you it was the girl turning into a pill, growing fungus, berries, and roots throughout the book. All because she wouldn’t eat lima beans.
Down with the lima, honestly. After this book, none of us felt any more inclined to eat the green slimy bean than before. So if 2000’s babies were wondering why lima beans aren’t popular now – this book is why.
Lose These And Your Playstation Was Screwed
Nowadays, kids can play Red Dead Redemption or literally any other game and be able to quickly log into any Xbox account and get started. Back in the day that was just not possible. Just like playing anything that wasn’t a sidescroller in 8-bit.
Without these, you couldn’t save, play, or do anything without the looming threat of your game just vanishing into thin air. This game truly taught us the value of not taking anything for granted because it could be gone at any second. Maybe that’s why we hoarded so many toys.
Not Having Smartphones At Sleepovers Was Character Building
When we would go to sleepovers we would fully anticipate the awkward morning where your friend peacefully slept in their bed and you laid on the floor staring at the ceiling for 3 hours. It happened to us all. Your friend also never woke up until you were about to lose your mind.
Twitter user @anjandhurba raises a good point about smartphones taking away this awkward moment. These were the times you truly learned how to be quiet and alone with yourself. They taught us valuable meditation skills that we will really never use and that’s okay.
Cube World Taught Us The Fun Of Spying On Your Neighbors
This game was basically training for living in a city apartment that faces another apartment – you just stare at these guys do their thing in their respective cubes and visit each other. Sometimes they fight, sometimes they eat, and sometimes they throw stuff. Basically, it’s Jersey Shore but without the hairspray.
If you were born after 2000 you might have remembered your older sibling playing with these, but by the time you were old enough to hop on the trend, the technology was outdated and all the cube people put down payments on houses. Maturity.
Aquapets Were Your First Love
No, truly. These little guys were so sweet and adorable it was really hard not to become completely enamored. Just look at the way they would gently float without a care in the world. Would you die for them? I would die for them.
2000’s babies will never understand the happiness we felt when these would play a new tune. New songs meant that we were giving them enough love that they felt free to express themselves. This is a metaphor folks, these toys were the original key to teaching kids kindness.
Milly’s Math House Made Math Almost Bearable
This was probably the only math game you willingly played during computer time – that and Math Circus. Deciding between those two was a tough choice but it made us stronger. Not our math skills though. We just played for the neon colors.
Do you remember counting the sprinkles on the cookies and the number of legs on the caterpillar? Those were fun times. Just avoid that cash register because that thing had real numbers on it and that was way too intense for this world. Milly, teach to the lowest common denominator, we’re all stressed out over here.
You’ll Live In The Shadow Of IHOB Without Truly Knowing IHOP
It was a dark day in 2018 when the international house of pancakes lost a sense of itself and its customer base and gazed too long into the fast-food chain restraunt abyss. They could no longer resist the pull of creating inexpensive beef burgers and became the international house of burgers.
@JakobVinson definitely tweeted this before they changed their name back to IHOP, but he raises a good point. 2000’s babies will have to live without really understanding the legacy of IHOP and the darkness that befell that day. They’ll be blindsided when IHOB rises again. God speed.
The ‘Squirmles’ Worm That 2000’s Babies Definitely Remember
This toy has 9 lives. It was invented in the 1970s and continues to sell. Everyone just loves its soft wiggles. Except sometimes you got the feeling it was moving on its own and you had to sleep with the lights on. That only happened 3 times a week though.
These things found new life as fishing bait and are now tied on the end of hooks to entice fish. ’70s, ’80s, ’90s, 2000s babies, and fish all share a squirmles demographic. What a truly transcendent little worm.